Sick Day

Yesterday was a bad day.

F-5 Tornado - One REALLY MAD cloud!

Now before you start trying to "out-bad-day" me - mine was bad because I was sick. Stomach bug sick. You know, the kind that feels like there's an F-5 Tornado or Category 4 Hurricane in your gut doing everything in its power to get out. The kind that makes you ask God over and over again to just go ahead and "finish you off" - because clearly, the alien in your body is going to make it impossible for you to have anything left to live for.

That was yesterday.

Luckily, this week at work was going to be so overwhelming that I came in over the weekend to catch up and get a "jump start" on my projects. Guess who no longer is jump started? lol

Seriously, WHAT THE HELL?!

Today, I did what any stomach-bug fearing adult would do, I waited to eat. I waited so long that by the time lunch rolled around, I had a different type of hurricane in my belly. This is where the adult part of me left for the day and the starving beast took over. Chipotle. The very name has a zesty Mexican spice in the name. What the HELL was I thinking?

All in all, things ended happily - meaning no more dizzy, crying, vomiting trips to the toilet falling over myself just to make it. (Yes, I realize that was WAY more than should ever be shared online, but oh well!)

How has your week been?

I'm usually an "everyday is Friday" kind of gal - but this week I'm excited!

Fake it til you make it

We've all been there. Maybe a little nervous about a meeting or new experience... In my line of work, there's always a little pit in my stomach about going to an event and meeting a ton of new people - and it's MY JOB! I've been doing it for so long, you'd think I would be long over it by now - but people are unpredictable. Maybe that's why the nerves get going. 

At any rate, I thought this little lion kitty was a great image to illustrate the importance of faking it until you make it.

There are some things you shouldn't fake (am I right, ladies?) but when it comes to traits you feel like you need for success: Courage, Image, a Sunny & Bright Disposition. Those things don't happen for all of us overnight. 

• Could you be depressed because you aren't telling yourself that you're happy? 
• Are you alone because you keep telling yourself that you don't deserve someone? 
• Are you missing out on a promotion at work because you "could never say your idea in front of all of those people" or to your "a-hole of a boss"? 

We hold ourselves back with our self-fulfilling prophecies. What if you started telling yourself that you are happy and you chose to focus on all of the wonderful things in your life? Day after day, focusing on and making the choice to be happy would get easier and easier - until one day you aren't faking it anymore. 

Imagine that!

I guess that's probably what professionals (or people much smarter than me) call building healthy habits. 

Ask yourself: Are Courage, my Image and a Sunny & Bright Disposition habits? 

Maybe, maybe not - but they sure as hell are comfort zones and comfort zones breed habits.

What new habits are you going to start breeding when you let go your fear of change?

What day is it?

You were gonna say Hump Day, weren't you?!?

Nope - it's New Car Battery Day

Don't worry, we'll celebrate next week :)

Price of a new battery: $126

Years I don't have to worry about a new battery:5 

Not having to replace the alternator today: Priceless

First you're up, then you're down, then you're up again...

Last week, I was laid off from my job. I mean really LAID OFF! From my job. At a University. In a non-grant-funded position. 

L A I D  O F F

I've worked for a couple of universities, I've even worked in one of those grant-funded positions that make you crap your pants in anticipation every time they re-apply / re-up the grant (or worse yet, when the government threatens to shuts down) but in all those years, I always had a job. 


Until September 30th.

My co-workers and I knew something was happening when the president of our board called a meeting Monday afternoon, but it wasn't even close to what we thought. I should probably mention that tension has run high in my office because our boss was on her way out (not really by her choice) and we all *knew* it without *knowing* it. So 6 happy-go-lucky chumps walk into a meeting with members of our board and a couple of HR folks still thinking we were going to get an official statement about out boss. (Which did happen, as an afterthought.)

We were even more surprised than this!

Have you ever been in a meeting that you thought was going one way and you came out on the other end without a job? Yeah... it's like having the carpet pulled from under your feet (or at least what I imagine that would feel like). 

Have you ever found out that your current job situation was illegal? Again... SURPRISE! 

I should clarify - our jobs weren't illegal (this isn't Breaking Bad) but the whole administrative back end of our jobs became illegal because someone somewhere laundered some money or received a kickback or did something equally as heinous.

I should also mention - I've NEVER been without a job, or at least a plan for a job. EVER. 

Confusion. Day drinking. Tears. Fear. Tension. Stress. Anger. 

I felt all of these emotions. Sometimes within minutes of each other, wondering what I was going to do. Hell, I even contemplated moving in with my parents!!

Luckily, the organization I was working for illegally - legalized and offered us all our jobs back within days. Exciting, right?! Absolutely. Until I realized that I'm starting a new job. 

New Insurance. 
New PTO. 
New Benefits. 
New Paperwork. 
No Longevity... 
Oh & it wasn't my choice.

Don't get me wrong - I'm EXTREMELY grateful to have a job. MY JOB. (I LOVE my job). I'm just ready for the wind to die down and let me catch my breath. 

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

I was taught that it is always better to tell the truth (it will set you free, so to speak). Recently (pretty much daily) I'm reminded, the truth doesn't always set you free - sometimes it restricts and punishes you.

Don't get me wrong - I'm still advocating for the truth! But sometimes I wish doing the right thing as an adult was as easy and arbitrary as when I was a kid. Yes, I'd much rather be able to sleep at night knowing I did the right thing, but now I'm in the throws of an all out extreme pissing match. Fun to watch (if you're a masochist), terrible to live!

Bottom line: Doing the right thing is always the right choice - even if your situation SUCKS worse after all is said & done. At least there is light at the end of the tunnel instead of handcuffs, fire & brimstone.

Lessons from the weekend...

1. Just because its been in the fridge, doesn't mean it's still good to eat.

2. $10 is NOT enough money to do laundry for one person.

3. Laziness DOES NOT pay off, but it DOES feel good.

4. It should not take 2 days for my chores.

5. I may have gotten dumber since I turned 35. Why, you ask? 

Because everything on the list, I already knew! (oh except for maybe #5)

No one to crush on...

For a long time Bobby (the guy on the far left) was my big "My Boys" crush!

Last month, while house / dog sitting I decided to resurrect one of my FAVORITE shows (Thanks Netflix) "My Boys", and up came an episode about being in a slump - and boy could I relate! 

Everything in this show centers around how life mimics baseball, so when you aren't dating or crushing on anyone - you are in a slump. Couldn't agree more! My slump has lasted way longer than I'd like to admit but I digress...

What a difference a month makes!

You know, the Morton Salt Girl and I have something in common...

Except she gets salt. I apparently get boys coming out of the woodwork! (Notice I'm not complaining)

It's been so long since I've had a man actually courting me, that I forgot what it was like. I'm a little sad to report that it is not like riding a bike... okay well maybe it's like riding a bike you still remember the concept - but your center of balance has probably changed. 

So for now, I'm plugging along. Trying to enjoy the attention. Trying to enjoy 35. Trying to make sure I don't end up holding an umbrella when the next dry spell comes along.

Well... What do you do when you're sick & can't sleep?!?

Me? I do what any crazy unmarried 34 year old woman does:

Design an engagement ring online while sitting on the can!

See! Don't I have great taste?!?

Now some of you are probably asking yourself... "Does Jennifer have a boyfriend? Is she even dating anyone?"

No. No, I do not.

Perhaps you think it may be bad mojo to design a ring before you have someone that wants to give you that ring. Well, I'll tell you like I told my ex when he found out that I had designed a ring: 

I did this long before you came along & will probably be doing it long after you leave. It makes me happy, so just deal with it.

And here you were wondering why I'm still single! 

New Apartment

So I've spent the last couple of days moving (way too much) stuff from my old house in Fort Worth to my new apartment in Grand Prairie. I've learned a few things:

1. I have way too much stuff
2. I hate moving
3. I'm still not done yet
4. My bicycle doesn't have a place outside
5. I left my toiletry box at the old house and washed my hair with body soap. But it was still amazeballs

Now to finish unloading my car in the morning and take one last trip to get stuff in Fort Worth. Then I get to unpack! Woo hoo!

Photos / Video to follow soon!

The Blazing Race

The Amazing Blazing Race - or at least that's how we do it where I work. 

The Slimsons BEFORE photo :)

Today, along with a couple of coworkers, I competed in a scavenger hunt of sorts all over the university where I'm employed.  In an effort to become less fat-tastic, I have tried to become more active - which goes really well with this Slimdown Competition work is hosting. Our team, The Slimsons, is working on getting into our skinny jeans and this race was part of the goal.

We chose the low impact route and DAMN I'm out of shape! (Like it was that big of a surprise!) 

As we went along though, I realized a couple of things:

1. When you're too fat, your back hurts BAD when you walk.
2. The more active you are, the better you feel. DUH
3. My coworkers are really fun people (I kind of already knew that...)
4. This campus is HUGE (and yes, I realize "That's what she said")
5. I don't care what that stupid piece of paper said - we walked more than 1.14 miles!

My encouragement to you today is to get out there and walk or run or bike or whatever you do to be active. Looking down at the scale and tipping it to the highest you've ever seen it with your two feet standing on top is not a happy place, friends! 

Remember: Fitness is FUN!

750 Words

As some of you know, I teach computer classes at an organization that serves women looking to improve their situations by learning a new skill (e.g. computers). I came across this organization following the death of two of my co-workers almost two years ago. I'm on my 3rd class and last night we finished up the keyboarding portion of our course - which means we're a third of the way done with the program! Time seriously flies!!!

Anywho, a common thread among some of these women is that at some point they've been victims of domestic violence. Sometimes they suffer from low self esteem or self worth. They've never had someone tell them that they could do something - they've always been put down. This is where my 750 words comes in.

Think back to a time when you were learning something... say keyboarding. I take for granted that (once we moved to Texas) the schools I attended had computers and we always had a computer in the house (Thanks Dad!) so keyboarding is a skill I never really put much thought into learning. Now, I can type upwards of 75 words per minute. 

One reason I'm a stronger typist than others is that I spend a lot of time writing / blogging / etc. So I've encouraged my students to start doing the same. 750words.com is a website developed on the idea of Morning Writings. The thought is that if you write three pages every morning (roughly 750 words) it frees your mind and allows you to think more clearly for the rest of the day. The added bonus is that if you're learning to type, you can get practice and comfort typing to your little heart's desire. 

The thing I L O V E about 750words.com is that it is completely private - unless you change the settings. They also give you fun statistics (nerd alert) about your writing and who doesn't love getting into their subconscious? The only downfall at this point, is that they're going to a paid only subscription to assist in offsetting the cost of running the site. It is very modestly priced but my point is that even if you don't use this particular platform - getting those pesky thoughts out of your head every morning really helps you become a more productive and creative person. 

Give it a try. You never know what you might find out about yourself. Even if it's just that you improve your typing speed :)

The People You Meet

In my profession (even as it's morphed over the years) I'm always meeting new people. People are fascinating. 

But what I love is the stories we take away at the end of the day.

Just think, without people, you wouldn't have:

1. Awkward 1st date stories

2. Lessons to take with you on that next job, relationship, purchase, vacation, day in court (lol)

3. Entertaining stories to tell at cocktail parties

4. A kick-ass stand-up routine

5. Finally, who could do without those stories that are so crazy - they bond us together.

I love that people - all kinds of people - make the world go round. Without them, I'd laugh WAY less than I do now :)

Spellstravaganza

As I mentioned yesterday, I participated in the 2013 Tarrant Literacy Coalition Corporate Spelling Bee along with my fellow teammates from Mayor Betsy Price's young leader initiative SteerFW. 

We came in 9th.

We were one of the last 2 teams on our "side" of the stage (out of 11)!

I'm proud of our team. I'm also proud that we didn't know the word gallimaufry - which I had NEVER heard before yesterday. In case you're like me, and didn't have a freaking CLUE what the word meant it means: hodgepodge. 

My first inclination was to think: why not just use the word hodgepodge? but that's not what spelling bees are all about.

Now, let's talk about our costumes! We were the "Stellar SteerFW Spellers". Originally, we wanted to have an aviation theme, but since Lockheed Martin was also participating, we went starry. As you can see - we mean business! Shelly (on the right) was gracious enough to raid Party City for all of their star-themed paraphernalia  We got so many compliments and comments on our costumes - it was well worth it.

Spelling Anxiety (aka Spell-ziety)

I'm participating in a Corporate Spelling Bee for the benefit of the Tarrant Literacy Coalition and I fear I'm in over my head. 

The competition is tonight, I've studied (yes, I use that term extremely loosely), I've worried, I've quizzed, I've indulged in spelling juice (aka wine). Now the time has come for me to bite the bullet, get up in front of a ballroom of professionals and leaders in my community

and make a complete and utter ass out of myself. 

Yes, friends. I'm probably the most nervous I've been about an activity in quite some time. I've spoken to crowds, performed in plays, played an instrument, sang both alone and with a choir - but today I'm a little north of mortified. 

Did I mention, I'm on the team sponsored by Fort Worth Mayor? 
Did I mention that last year her team came in 2nd place? 
Did I mention, I'm the team captain?
Did I mention, I have a SEVERE ISSUE with saying No?

Okay, well with all that - it's time for me to leave work and go get ready (Did I mention, I'm wearing a costume?). Yes it's all in good fun. Look for the horrifying evidence photos tomorrow. 

Oh and if you're looking to contribute to a worthwhile organization that believes in parading community members around and making fun of them through spelling, might I suggest Tarrant Literacy Coalition? :)

Nutrition Counseling

A couple of weeks ago my employer held a benefits fair. All sorts of banks, insurance companies  local businesses and doctors eagerly showed up to share with my fellow employees about how great and wonderful they are. I go for the free stuff. I'm not even trying to front. I usually get a couple of work toothbrushes, some fun crap giveaways and a bunch of business cards I don't want or need (it would be rude not to take them, right?!).

As I was going down the last aisle, I noticed a brochure for food intolerance testing. I have a good friend that did an elimination diet (and as seen all over Pinterest and Facebook) Ain't nobody got time for that! so a blood test seemed perfect for a lazy-ass like myself. A quick call and I was in the next week. 


This doctor claims he can cure everything that ails me (including a couple of auto-immune disorders) and get me off all of my prescription medications in 12 - 18 months. I'd be crazy if I didn't take him up on it, right? So here I go. Setting off on the journey of eliminating (probably) everything I've ever loved from my diet. BUT the prospect of feeling good (not even great) regularly is an enticing carrot. I can do anything for a year, right?

I will chronicle my journey on my other blog: jennewilson.wordpress.com

Come on over and see how I'm holding up!

Headless chicken

I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head chopped off (hence the headless chicken title). 

As you loyal 5 readers know, I've recently changed jobs and with that change, the broken hip 2013 and all the fun that 2013 has stressed blessed me with so far I feel like I'm drowning a little. 

At least it's Friday and next week is Spring Break, right? Oh wait, I have to work this weekend and I don't get days off for spring break. 

Calgon, take me away! 

Happy Spring forward weekend, y'all!

Ignorance at its worst

I feel like I've been around the block. By no means am I a "worldly" individual, but working in customer service and business development for almost 20 years has given me a view of people that I am constantly stunned by, ashamed of, awestruck by and grateful for at the same time. 

I've been the only white person at events. 
I've been the only woman at events. 
I've been the shortest person
The only dark headed person
The only one without my ears pierced
The only one without a date
The only one without a hubby
The only one without kids... need I go on? 

I understand that it takes a certain type of person to survive (much less thrive) in those types of situations - but anger, ignorance and name calling is not a solution. There are groups of people in the world (hell in our back yard) that have views I think are the most abhorrent ideas ever thought of. It disgusts me to think that these people spew their intolerance and hatred among themselves, much less to others, but I have to ask: Will disagreeing with them and calling them names make them change their minds?

Um, No.

Hate begets hate
Anger begets anger
Name calling begets name calling (and makes you sound like a kindergartner)

I believe we are all entitled to our own opinions, whether or not I agree with your opinion or you with mine is not the point. 

It's how we handle ourselves in the disagreement that defines us. Today, I am reminded that maybe we haven't come as far in race relations as I had hoped. 

One thing remains true though, tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity for hope, understanding and tolerance.

You hurt where?!?

You know those "brilliant" ideas you get when you're feeling good and your body isn't hurting - you almost feel like a kid again? 

No?

Well, in all my genius this weekend I decide that I should take my new bicycle out for a spin. So my friend Sarah and I take our bikes down to the Trinity River Trails. Awesome! I'm stoked. The weather is beautiful. I'm only slightly intimidated by the serious bicyclers. All's well. 

Until... No, I didn't fall, but it feels like I did. After 4 miles, I realize that I'm in desperate need of a new bicycle seat. Desperate need. 

I'm proud of myself that after a decade (or more) hiatus of bicycling, I'm able to make it as far as I did (without water much less), but y'all - I woke up this morning being grateful that I don't have a husband or boyfriend if you catch my drift...

So now, Tylenol is my very best friend - although I'm not really sure it's doing much in the way of helping and I'm determined to get a new seat and get my fat ass back out there and ride 5 miles this time!

Vegan-Cookathon 2013

Since I can't stay with my parents throughout my Mom's recovery, the next best thing I can do is to make sure that Mom doesn't have to cook for Dad. In the last several years, Dad has become vegan - which is amazing because he's pretty much cured himself of all the bad things that required him to take medicine (including diabetes). Now, all he has is one little thyroid pill daily.

Anyway, I digress to share that since Mom has broken her hip/femur, she can't stand in the kitchen for an hour to cook. My sister doesn't cook (she bakes). Dad thinks that he should be cooked for - or he won't eat. So here I am. I pinned a crapload of vegan recipes and went shopping. I mean shopping. 

This is what I came up with... 

15 Bean Soup

This is round one and Dad has already cleared out space in the garage freezer for more. I think he's surprised and awestruck by the amount of food I'm cooking. 

I'll post the links to the recipes tomorrow, but for now - these are my munchkins building a can city while I was cooking.

OCD when you're a Wilson

This is your room:

I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the room of a person with obsessive compulsive disorder - those people are usually orderly (and thus clean or at least organized!).

The OCD part:

See, I told ya!

WWMMXIII

Mom came home today. (Yay!) I started Vegan-Cookathon-2013 following an afternoon of much needed sleep in a bed that (quite frankly) I never thought I'd be excited to see (nephew's bottom twin bunk) snuggling with my Rotti in front of an industrial powered fan. For once this week all was right(ish) with the world.

Then my family came home.

Mom wasn't released from the hospital until after 6 pm so she was sad, mad, frustrated, pissed, irritable, broken, weak, enraged, and in an amazing amount of pain. Dad took the side of over-protective drama king (that he does so well) lovingly, of course. All the while, Sister was at work. Things were okay. I escaped went to the store to get dinner and then started drinking cooking.

Then Sister came home.

Did you hear it? I'm surprised, because I'm pretty sure that's when WWMMXIII (Wilson War 2013) began. The details aren't important, suffice to say my, usually entertaining, family was in rare form - I think everyone, with the exception of me, got their feelings hurt (including the dog).

My hope, prayer, wish is that tomorrow everyone will be in better spirits. If not, may God have mercy on our souls. I'm thinking the Harbaugh family might be the only ones more torn tomorrow. (Go Ravens!)

Stay tuned!

Advice by the letter

Always be true to yourself.
Be the person your dog thinks you are.
Crack is whack, as are most drugs (legal or otherwise).
"Dun bun can't be undone."(Thank you Stephen King)
Early risers scare me, but they get shit done.
Farts are better out than in.
Grass REALLY IS greener on the other side, but it's not your grass so who cares?!?
High heels feel best when removed at the end of the day.
Icing is just as good as ice cream when you're sad.
Just keep swimming!
Kick a ball every now and then.
Love with all of your heart.
Mind (& take care of) your business.
Niceness is never wrong. Ever.
Own your life and choices. It's ALL YOU!
Put your phone down and have a real conversation. You know... like in-person.
Question everything!
Regret NOTHING!
Sing loud. Always!
Trampolines make you jump higher & feel like a 7-year-old regardless of your age.
Umbrellas aren't just good on rainy days!
Vocalize! God gave you a voice - use it!
Wear clean underwear. Always!
X-ray vision is expensive & unnecessary. (Don't believe me? Ask the TSA!)
Yawn contagiously.
Zealously live!

Jimmy my John

Sandwiches!
Sandwiches!
Sandwiches!

Did I mention, sandwiches?

This week's stint at the hospital gave me a chance to test the advertising promise of Jimmy John's Sandwich Shop. I must say - I wasn't disappointed. You know how they are super speedy on the commercial... I shit you not - within 10 minutes of me placing an order, I had my sandwich. 

Now for those of you that don't live in NYC or some other major metropolitan downtown area that delivers everything - let me share the amazingness that is this idea in the suburbs of Houston. 

Until 10 p.m. 
To a hospital room. 
During the week. 

I lived on Jimmy Johns sandwiches this week and for that - I'd like to thank them.

No rest for the weary

Look Ma!

A comfortable, reclining inappropriately-sized-for-someone-under-5ft7-with-short-legs CHAIR-BED!

My "home away from home" since Sunday. Although I'm tempted to video what I go through to get out of this chair (I think I still have some pride or shame, I'm unsure at this point) I'm going to wait it out for now and continue to use my pain for my ailing mother's entertainment.

Fortunes of fortune

Went to lunch with Dad today after Mom's surgery. She did GREAT!

After our meal, we got these fortunes, which I felt were really appropriate. 

Dad's is the top and mine is the bottom. I plan on not letting any water in my ship this year. Seriously!

The Saga of the Slide

Who knew a McDonald's slide could cause so much angst?

I don't remember being worried about going to the top of the PlayPlace... Little A (my niece) on the other hand - makes it seem like the idea of going down the slide will be worthy of (at least) 5 years of adult therapy.

It's funny, the difference between siblings. My sister and I couldn't be more different, but I see similarities to each of us in her kids. J (my nephew) is fearlessly confident (like me) while Little A is confidently fearful (like my sis). The interesting thing though is that they're both insecure in areas that you would stereotype them by gender to be good at. Little A is probably one of the most aggressive competitors you'd ever meet, but has the social skills of a tree frog. Whereas, J would rather woo you with his wit than compete with you on any level.

Hypoallergenic lotion

What kind of people have a flaming red hot reaction to "hypoallergenic" lotion they give to hospital patients?

Me.

That is all. I guess we can't ALL "Live the Dream" all of the time...

The longest short week EVER

This is what my week feels like!

Yes, I'm one of those lucky few that have select holidays off - this week was Dr. Martin Luther King day. I spent the day of his honor, doing chores and things that I put off from my weekend (totally not what I should've been doing to honor him, but I digress). 

Coming back to work on Tuesday, I expected to be refreshed and ready to hit the ground running - which I did. BUT what happened was that instead of doing all that work and time flying by, I think hit some error in the space / time continuum and this week has   dragged by. I mean, really. I may have lived 7 lifetimes in this week. It's like when you're a kid and the days before your birthday or Christmas creep along like Grandma driving to the store. 

I swear to you, the clock hasn't gotten one minute later. It's driving me mad!

Next week I'm missing 2 days for work for a conference - does that mean the week will be double-long? 

Anyone else having a long short week? 

Fat, Fatty, Fat Fat

It should come as no surprise that one of my goals for 2013 (as every year) is to get my fat ass moving so as to make it less fat and more ass-tastic. 2013 is off to an extremely slow start.

New Years Day found me in the lobby of Care Now waiting to be told that I had strep throat and an upper respiratory infection (no big surprise) in the wake of the worst flu season North Texas has seen in several years. So needless to say, I spent a lot of time sitting on the sofa, sleeping, and eating (because you're supposed to feed a cold, right?!?).  Boy did I feed it!

To continue my food obsession while creating (new) healthy habits,  (read: tracking my food intake) I reviewed the stuff I fed to my cold. 

There's no way I'm going to show you my actual food journal!

WOW!

I mean, really!! What the hell was I thinking?!? I'm pretty sure the old saying wasn't put into place to justify me feeding my cold graham crackers with frosting. Although it might be amazeballs - frosting is not found on the road to happy, healthy and ass-tastic. Promise.

Here I sit, 19 days into 2013 probably about 3 pounds heavier than I started the year. But I refuse to beat myself up about it. All I can do is start on the right track again today, make the best (and right decision) every time I'm hungry (or think I'm hungry), and get out there and be active. 

I found some inspiration in a couple of blogs that may help you too (if you're looking to get healthier)

Paleo/NonPaleo
KTJ Weighing In 
Mama Laughlin

And so it has begun...

What has begun, you ask?

Valentine's Day

Thanks KGB Deals... maybe I'll buy some flowers for myself this year!

The day single women and all men dread - but both for very different reasons. So imagine my disappointment when I open this lovely email offer. 

Ummm - KGB Deals, I don't have a sweetheart (yet) and if I did I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want me to send HIM flowers. (If he did, we might have a whole other problem, but I digress).

These kinds of things usually don't bother me - and if I'm being REALLY honest it doesn't bother me right now. What bothers me is that I've kind of been seeing this guy. He's really nice, funny, smart, handsome... .

WAIT FOR IT

wait for it

B U T (there it is)

But he's got it in his head that I want him to spend money on me. Okay gals, before I start getting hate mail. I'm not the kind of woman that measures love by how pretty and shiny and expensive the last gift or dinner you bought me was/is. However, this guy has clearly been burned in the past. 

A snippet of our conversation that brought me to this conclusion:

Me: Riddle me this, Batman. When are you going to ask me out again?                (aren't I cute when I'm trying to flirt?)
Him: I can't answer that until tomorrow          (in the interest of full disclosure he's having some vehicle issues that he needs to take care of and are costing him a large chunk of money out of pocket)
Me: Because??
Him: (info about the aforementioned vehicle issues)
Me: Ok
Him: I'm stressed. Your repeated request for me to take you out is kind of demanding and honestly, I haven't had a girl be like that since my ex... kind of upsetting. 
Me: (screaming in my head) WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

After further discussion, it comes out that the way I've phrased the question implies that I want him to take me out and spend money on me. When I think that all I'm asking is "When do I get to sit down and spend time with you?".

Now, if you are one of the 5 loyal followers, you know - I'm crazy. I want to be "the girl". I don't want to be the one that has to continually make plans. I don't want to be the one that makes stuff happen. I do that in my day job. Why in the hell would I want to do that in my personal time?

So I decided I wouldn't ask anymore.  (Remember how I told you I was crazy, right?)

Okay, so maybe it's not so "green" over here on the (almost) couple-dom side of the grass either. Stupid grass.