Inspiration

Every time I hear the word "inspiration" I think of the Chicago song "You're the Inspiration" which is both a cool and sad take on the word. As I've gotten older, inspiration has become synonymous in my world with a precursor to greatness.

• Inspiration for innovation
• Inspiration for writing / singing / creating
• Inspiration to be a better person / parent / lover / friend
• Inspiration of others

The last probably being the greatest gift we as people can give - sharing our story, letting people know they aren't alone, reminding them they can accomplish greatness. 

I found inspiration for peace, trust, and faith reading The Alchemist. I read it while unemployed and in the serious throes of a discouraging job search. It inspired (and reminded) me to listen to my gut, trust in God's plan (or the universe if you're so inclined), and my "plan" doesn't matter - the right thing will come along when it's supposed to (in my case 3 weeks before my unemployment ran out, but I digress). 

What does inspiration mean to you?

With faith comes patience

My entire life, I've been told a few things... 

• Patience is a virtue
• You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need (Thanks, Mick Jagger)
• When you give your worries to God, you will find peace

I do my best to "live" these things every day. Admittedly, I've had varying times of success and failure - now being one of those times of recent failure followed by a brief pity party and then re-realization that although "I want what I want, when I want it" (thanks Father John) life rarely gives us what we want when (and how) we want it. 

I've half-jokingly posted on my Facebook that God is trying to teach me a lesson that (after 35 years) I still haven't learned. But more so, I think He's also trying to give me a gift. The lesson is patience; the gift is faith. Faith in Him. Faith in His plan. Faith that He will take care of me (because He always has / does).

So this week, I've decided to stop acting like the stalker ex to the job I desperately want. I'm not calling, emailing, sending notes, popping by or devising some intricate and complicated code that probably wouldn't work anyway - I'm just stopping. I get it. No more praying for this job or that job. I will continue applying for the things that interest me. I will continue kicking ass at job interviews. I will continue helping myself and then let God take it the rest of the way. (I refuse to add any more song lyrics to this post - sorry Carrie Underwood).

So I will ask for, and graciously accept, your prayers, happy thoughts, good mo-jo, good luck, positive juju and any other karmic universal fabulousness you are willing to throw my way. Happy begets happy. Positive begets positive. Faith begets faith. 

Here I am - Happy. Positive. Faithful. Ready.

A watched phone doesn't ring

In case you didn't know, I'm unemployed right now. For the last 2 months I've been running around like a crazy person trying to apply, interview and seem right damn near perfect for any job I might remotely be qualified for / think I could get excited about. I've met a lot of great people. I've also decided there are some companies, locations, and people I'd rather not work for / with / at / in. This list will... not be published.

Last week, I waited by the phone to hear about a job that I *REALLY* want, at an awesome company, with (seemingly) fun and friendly people and it's right around the corner from my apartment (Trifecta, right?!?). I couldn't ask for anything more - except for them to call me. The candidate pool was narrowed to me and 2 others and I was interviewed last. I waited on pins and needles (not to mention the toilet - sorry for tmi) all week to hear back. I emailed a "thank you" on Friday after the interview. I dropped off personalized notes to the front desk receptionist on Tuesday. I emailed the decision maker on Thursday (just to make sure she got my note). All I've gotten?? Crickets. Now before I get flack for too much communication - it was all innocuous. Very quick, brief and to the point. I'm not trying to be annoying - just trying to find out if I got the job. Have I mentioned how much I REALLY want this job? 

Today I called my HR contact. That was an hour and seven minutes ago... tick tock! My stomach is in knots. I can barely think straight, much less concentrate on anything (it really is a good thing I don't have a full time job right now - although I doubt the pressure and anticipation would be at this level if I had a steady income). 

So back to phone watching... at Starbucks. Trying to get some contract work taken care of and test my telekinetic powers to WILL my phone to ring. Damnit!

Found this card and although I think it's geared towards a recent grad - I think it fits where I'm at right now. God help me if I'm still job seeking by Thanksgiving. Julian's bottom bunk - here I come!

Coffee and Wine

Today I saw this little gem on Facebook and I just had to share.

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE wine, coffee and encouraging words that can be summed up hilariously on an ecard? 

The search continues...

I realize that most people (especially in this economy) have experienced job loss. I've been on the search since March (actually a little before) and I've had TONS of traction, but still no luck. You'd think I'd do something constructive with my time - work out, eat right, write more... But alas, I'm two months into this unemployment thing with nothing really to show for it. 

Wait... does an almost empty DVR count?

The good news is that my spirits are up and that I average at least one interview a week. Did I mention, I send out about 20 applications a week? Pretty much every interviewer asks "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" If you would've asked me that in September, I would've told you - I want to be an executive director of an alumni associaiton now... I just want a job... that pays... well.

Tomorrow I have a third interview with an awesome employer that could be my dream job (at least at one point in my life). I know my friends are tired of me saying it, but I really want this job. 

In the meantime, DVR shows anyone?

Sick Day

Yesterday was a bad day.

F-5 Tornado - One REALLY MAD cloud!

Now before you start trying to "out-bad-day" me - mine was bad because I was sick. Stomach bug sick. You know, the kind that feels like there's an F-5 Tornado or Category 4 Hurricane in your gut doing everything in its power to get out. The kind that makes you ask God over and over again to just go ahead and "finish you off" - because clearly, the alien in your body is going to make it impossible for you to have anything left to live for.

That was yesterday.

Luckily, this week at work was going to be so overwhelming that I came in over the weekend to catch up and get a "jump start" on my projects. Guess who no longer is jump started? lol

Seriously, WHAT THE HELL?!

Today, I did what any stomach-bug fearing adult would do, I waited to eat. I waited so long that by the time lunch rolled around, I had a different type of hurricane in my belly. This is where the adult part of me left for the day and the starving beast took over. Chipotle. The very name has a zesty Mexican spice in the name. What the HELL was I thinking?

All in all, things ended happily - meaning no more dizzy, crying, vomiting trips to the toilet falling over myself just to make it. (Yes, I realize that was WAY more than should ever be shared online, but oh well!)

How has your week been?

I'm usually an "everyday is Friday" kind of gal - but this week I'm excited!

Fake it til you make it

We've all been there. Maybe a little nervous about a meeting or new experience... In my line of work, there's always a little pit in my stomach about going to an event and meeting a ton of new people - and it's MY JOB! I've been doing it for so long, you'd think I would be long over it by now - but people are unpredictable. Maybe that's why the nerves get going. 

At any rate, I thought this little lion kitty was a great image to illustrate the importance of faking it until you make it.

There are some things you shouldn't fake (am I right, ladies?) but when it comes to traits you feel like you need for success: Courage, Image, a Sunny & Bright Disposition. Those things don't happen for all of us overnight. 

• Could you be depressed because you aren't telling yourself that you're happy? 
• Are you alone because you keep telling yourself that you don't deserve someone? 
• Are you missing out on a promotion at work because you "could never say your idea in front of all of those people" or to your "a-hole of a boss"? 

We hold ourselves back with our self-fulfilling prophecies. What if you started telling yourself that you are happy and you chose to focus on all of the wonderful things in your life? Day after day, focusing on and making the choice to be happy would get easier and easier - until one day you aren't faking it anymore. 

Imagine that!

I guess that's probably what professionals (or people much smarter than me) call building healthy habits. 

Ask yourself: Are Courage, my Image and a Sunny & Bright Disposition habits? 

Maybe, maybe not - but they sure as hell are comfort zones and comfort zones breed habits.

What new habits are you going to start breeding when you let go your fear of change?

What day is it?

You were gonna say Hump Day, weren't you?!?

Nope - it's New Car Battery Day

Don't worry, we'll celebrate next week :)

Price of a new battery: $126

Years I don't have to worry about a new battery:5 

Not having to replace the alternator today: Priceless

First you're up, then you're down, then you're up again...

Last week, I was laid off from my job. I mean really LAID OFF! From my job. At a University. In a non-grant-funded position. 

L A I D  O F F

I've worked for a couple of universities, I've even worked in one of those grant-funded positions that make you crap your pants in anticipation every time they re-apply / re-up the grant (or worse yet, when the government threatens to shuts down) but in all those years, I always had a job. 


Until September 30th.

My co-workers and I knew something was happening when the president of our board called a meeting Monday afternoon, but it wasn't even close to what we thought. I should probably mention that tension has run high in my office because our boss was on her way out (not really by her choice) and we all *knew* it without *knowing* it. So 6 happy-go-lucky chumps walk into a meeting with members of our board and a couple of HR folks still thinking we were going to get an official statement about out boss. (Which did happen, as an afterthought.)

We were even more surprised than this!

Have you ever been in a meeting that you thought was going one way and you came out on the other end without a job? Yeah... it's like having the carpet pulled from under your feet (or at least what I imagine that would feel like). 

Have you ever found out that your current job situation was illegal? Again... SURPRISE! 

I should clarify - our jobs weren't illegal (this isn't Breaking Bad) but the whole administrative back end of our jobs became illegal because someone somewhere laundered some money or received a kickback or did something equally as heinous.

I should also mention - I've NEVER been without a job, or at least a plan for a job. EVER. 

Confusion. Day drinking. Tears. Fear. Tension. Stress. Anger. 

I felt all of these emotions. Sometimes within minutes of each other, wondering what I was going to do. Hell, I even contemplated moving in with my parents!!

Luckily, the organization I was working for illegally - legalized and offered us all our jobs back within days. Exciting, right?! Absolutely. Until I realized that I'm starting a new job. 

New Insurance. 
New PTO. 
New Benefits. 
New Paperwork. 
No Longevity... 
Oh & it wasn't my choice.

Don't get me wrong - I'm EXTREMELY grateful to have a job. MY JOB. (I LOVE my job). I'm just ready for the wind to die down and let me catch my breath. 

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

I was taught that it is always better to tell the truth (it will set you free, so to speak). Recently (pretty much daily) I'm reminded, the truth doesn't always set you free - sometimes it restricts and punishes you.

Don't get me wrong - I'm still advocating for the truth! But sometimes I wish doing the right thing as an adult was as easy and arbitrary as when I was a kid. Yes, I'd much rather be able to sleep at night knowing I did the right thing, but now I'm in the throws of an all out extreme pissing match. Fun to watch (if you're a masochist), terrible to live!

Bottom line: Doing the right thing is always the right choice - even if your situation SUCKS worse after all is said & done. At least there is light at the end of the tunnel instead of handcuffs, fire & brimstone.

Lessons from the weekend...

1. Just because its been in the fridge, doesn't mean it's still good to eat.

2. $10 is NOT enough money to do laundry for one person.

3. Laziness DOES NOT pay off, but it DOES feel good.

4. It should not take 2 days for my chores.

5. I may have gotten dumber since I turned 35. Why, you ask? 

Because everything on the list, I already knew! (oh except for maybe #5)

No one to crush on...

For a long time Bobby (the guy on the far left) was my big "My Boys" crush!

Last month, while house / dog sitting I decided to resurrect one of my FAVORITE shows (Thanks Netflix) "My Boys", and up came an episode about being in a slump - and boy could I relate! 

Everything in this show centers around how life mimics baseball, so when you aren't dating or crushing on anyone - you are in a slump. Couldn't agree more! My slump has lasted way longer than I'd like to admit but I digress...

What a difference a month makes!

You know, the Morton Salt Girl and I have something in common...

Except she gets salt. I apparently get boys coming out of the woodwork! (Notice I'm not complaining)

It's been so long since I've had a man actually courting me, that I forgot what it was like. I'm a little sad to report that it is not like riding a bike... okay well maybe it's like riding a bike you still remember the concept - but your center of balance has probably changed. 

So for now, I'm plugging along. Trying to enjoy the attention. Trying to enjoy 35. Trying to make sure I don't end up holding an umbrella when the next dry spell comes along.

Well... What do you do when you're sick & can't sleep?!?

Me? I do what any crazy unmarried 34 year old woman does:

Design an engagement ring online while sitting on the can!

See! Don't I have great taste?!?

Now some of you are probably asking yourself... "Does Jennifer have a boyfriend? Is she even dating anyone?"

No. No, I do not.

Perhaps you think it may be bad mojo to design a ring before you have someone that wants to give you that ring. Well, I'll tell you like I told my ex when he found out that I had designed a ring: 

I did this long before you came along & will probably be doing it long after you leave. It makes me happy, so just deal with it.

And here you were wondering why I'm still single! 

New Apartment

So I've spent the last couple of days moving (way too much) stuff from my old house in Fort Worth to my new apartment in Grand Prairie. I've learned a few things:

1. I have way too much stuff
2. I hate moving
3. I'm still not done yet
4. My bicycle doesn't have a place outside
5. I left my toiletry box at the old house and washed my hair with body soap. But it was still amazeballs

Now to finish unloading my car in the morning and take one last trip to get stuff in Fort Worth. Then I get to unpack! Woo hoo!

Photos / Video to follow soon!

The Blazing Race

The Amazing Blazing Race - or at least that's how we do it where I work. 

The Slimsons BEFORE photo :)

Today, along with a couple of coworkers, I competed in a scavenger hunt of sorts all over the university where I'm employed.  In an effort to become less fat-tastic, I have tried to become more active - which goes really well with this Slimdown Competition work is hosting. Our team, The Slimsons, is working on getting into our skinny jeans and this race was part of the goal.

We chose the low impact route and DAMN I'm out of shape! (Like it was that big of a surprise!) 

As we went along though, I realized a couple of things:

1. When you're too fat, your back hurts BAD when you walk.
2. The more active you are, the better you feel. DUH
3. My coworkers are really fun people (I kind of already knew that...)
4. This campus is HUGE (and yes, I realize "That's what she said")
5. I don't care what that stupid piece of paper said - we walked more than 1.14 miles!

My encouragement to you today is to get out there and walk or run or bike or whatever you do to be active. Looking down at the scale and tipping it to the highest you've ever seen it with your two feet standing on top is not a happy place, friends! 

Remember: Fitness is FUN!

750 Words

As some of you know, I teach computer classes at an organization that serves women looking to improve their situations by learning a new skill (e.g. computers). I came across this organization following the death of two of my co-workers almost two years ago. I'm on my 3rd class and last night we finished up the keyboarding portion of our course - which means we're a third of the way done with the program! Time seriously flies!!!

Anywho, a common thread among some of these women is that at some point they've been victims of domestic violence. Sometimes they suffer from low self esteem or self worth. They've never had someone tell them that they could do something - they've always been put down. This is where my 750 words comes in.

Think back to a time when you were learning something... say keyboarding. I take for granted that (once we moved to Texas) the schools I attended had computers and we always had a computer in the house (Thanks Dad!) so keyboarding is a skill I never really put much thought into learning. Now, I can type upwards of 75 words per minute. 

One reason I'm a stronger typist than others is that I spend a lot of time writing / blogging / etc. So I've encouraged my students to start doing the same. 750words.com is a website developed on the idea of Morning Writings. The thought is that if you write three pages every morning (roughly 750 words) it frees your mind and allows you to think more clearly for the rest of the day. The added bonus is that if you're learning to type, you can get practice and comfort typing to your little heart's desire. 

The thing I L O V E about 750words.com is that it is completely private - unless you change the settings. They also give you fun statistics (nerd alert) about your writing and who doesn't love getting into their subconscious? The only downfall at this point, is that they're going to a paid only subscription to assist in offsetting the cost of running the site. It is very modestly priced but my point is that even if you don't use this particular platform - getting those pesky thoughts out of your head every morning really helps you become a more productive and creative person. 

Give it a try. You never know what you might find out about yourself. Even if it's just that you improve your typing speed :)

The People You Meet

In my profession (even as it's morphed over the years) I'm always meeting new people. People are fascinating. 

But what I love is the stories we take away at the end of the day.

Just think, without people, you wouldn't have:

1. Awkward 1st date stories

2. Lessons to take with you on that next job, relationship, purchase, vacation, day in court (lol)

3. Entertaining stories to tell at cocktail parties

4. A kick-ass stand-up routine

5. Finally, who could do without those stories that are so crazy - they bond us together.

I love that people - all kinds of people - make the world go round. Without them, I'd laugh WAY less than I do now :)

Spellstravaganza

As I mentioned yesterday, I participated in the 2013 Tarrant Literacy Coalition Corporate Spelling Bee along with my fellow teammates from Mayor Betsy Price's young leader initiative SteerFW. 

We came in 9th.

We were one of the last 2 teams on our "side" of the stage (out of 11)!

I'm proud of our team. I'm also proud that we didn't know the word gallimaufry - which I had NEVER heard before yesterday. In case you're like me, and didn't have a freaking CLUE what the word meant it means: hodgepodge. 

My first inclination was to think: why not just use the word hodgepodge? but that's not what spelling bees are all about.

Now, let's talk about our costumes! We were the "Stellar SteerFW Spellers". Originally, we wanted to have an aviation theme, but since Lockheed Martin was also participating, we went starry. As you can see - we mean business! Shelly (on the right) was gracious enough to raid Party City for all of their star-themed paraphernalia  We got so many compliments and comments on our costumes - it was well worth it.

Spelling Anxiety (aka Spell-ziety)

I'm participating in a Corporate Spelling Bee for the benefit of the Tarrant Literacy Coalition and I fear I'm in over my head. 

The competition is tonight, I've studied (yes, I use that term extremely loosely), I've worried, I've quizzed, I've indulged in spelling juice (aka wine). Now the time has come for me to bite the bullet, get up in front of a ballroom of professionals and leaders in my community

and make a complete and utter ass out of myself. 

Yes, friends. I'm probably the most nervous I've been about an activity in quite some time. I've spoken to crowds, performed in plays, played an instrument, sang both alone and with a choir - but today I'm a little north of mortified. 

Did I mention, I'm on the team sponsored by Fort Worth Mayor? 
Did I mention that last year her team came in 2nd place? 
Did I mention, I'm the team captain?
Did I mention, I have a SEVERE ISSUE with saying No?

Okay, well with all that - it's time for me to leave work and go get ready (Did I mention, I'm wearing a costume?). Yes it's all in good fun. Look for the horrifying evidence photos tomorrow. 

Oh and if you're looking to contribute to a worthwhile organization that believes in parading community members around and making fun of them through spelling, might I suggest Tarrant Literacy Coalition? :)

Nutrition Counseling

A couple of weeks ago my employer held a benefits fair. All sorts of banks, insurance companies  local businesses and doctors eagerly showed up to share with my fellow employees about how great and wonderful they are. I go for the free stuff. I'm not even trying to front. I usually get a couple of work toothbrushes, some fun crap giveaways and a bunch of business cards I don't want or need (it would be rude not to take them, right?!).

As I was going down the last aisle, I noticed a brochure for food intolerance testing. I have a good friend that did an elimination diet (and as seen all over Pinterest and Facebook) Ain't nobody got time for that! so a blood test seemed perfect for a lazy-ass like myself. A quick call and I was in the next week. 


This doctor claims he can cure everything that ails me (including a couple of auto-immune disorders) and get me off all of my prescription medications in 12 - 18 months. I'd be crazy if I didn't take him up on it, right? So here I go. Setting off on the journey of eliminating (probably) everything I've ever loved from my diet. BUT the prospect of feeling good (not even great) regularly is an enticing carrot. I can do anything for a year, right?

I will chronicle my journey on my other blog: jennewilson.wordpress.com

Come on over and see how I'm holding up!