Great new words

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The winners are:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people which stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:



1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown .

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Dream

In a dream several nights ago I found myself in a mini-van with a "dream boyfriend" (dbf) and his family. It was dark winter night with snow all around, I was unsure where we were headed but his mother was driving. I was in the middle seat, and he and his brother were in the far back seat. DBF and I were talking across the seat very privately about who knows what and he blurted out "I love you". Without missing a beat and before realizing what was going on I replied "I know you do, I love you too."

The look on his face suddenly changed from a soft look of admiration to one of complete surprise - he found his voice only to respond quietly "that is the first time we've said that" My emotions welled up inside like a giddy teenager that just got her first kiss. My heart tried to escape my body through my chest it was pounding so hard. I realized the sheer emotion and passion of being told "I love you" from a lover was something I hadn't had in such a long time. He beamed with delight and I was 100 stages past cloud 9 - that's the last part of the dream I remember and I must say, when I woke up I was kind of sad that it was just a dream.

So now I've got all these thoughts in my head trying to decipher my LOVE dream. Guess my subconscious is telling me to get out there and FIND A MAN!!

Finally feeling productive

So Monday I get a call from my Mom saying that my Dad is ready to look for a job and go back to work after losing his job due to the lack of work from Hurricane Ike :( My Dad hasn't looked for a job (that I'm aware of) in over 20 years, and me being somewhat of a bs artist I offered to help. I must say... I'm pretty impressed with what I produced. I knew my Dad was a brilliant broadcast engineer but also that he has had a couple of years of tough luck. When I looked at all the things he was certified in, had attended and accomplished I had an overwhelming feeling of pride followed by a strong need to shout from the rooftops that any and all media outlet(s) can't possibly continue on without this man's brilliance. Now, of course I am probably more than a little biased, but I began to wonder how often we really realize how much our parents have done and accomplished.

My childhood was modest (to say the least) we never went without anything we needed but we weren't living in the lap of luxury either. On many occasions I remember my mother telling me that I couldn't have that new toy or doll because we simply couldn't afford it - there were no explanations or apologies. Did I deserve either? Hell no! My parents did the best they could, I always had a HOUSE, clothes, food, and enough toys to keep me occupied - oh and there was always playing outside, riding my bike, running around with the neighbor kids.

I guess what I'm saying is that my parents are a lot more accomplished than I realized. I knew they were smart and that they worked hard but I guess I didn't realize until I looked at it in writing how many cool things my Dad was involved in - the Olympics, the Eco-Challenge, World Cup, movies, world news events, you name it. They had great experiences and when they started making more money (and they could buy all the latest and greatest) our lives didn't change all that much. They were (and continue to be) modest and humble people just trying to do the right thing. I'm grateful they are my parents and that they've taught me that it isn't what you've accomplished or how much money you have. Life is about being able to go to bed at night knowing you did the best you could all day.

It's been awhile...

I guess it has been awhile since I've posted. I am back at work today after a 2 week break/vacation for Christmas. My holiday was good but it got me thinking - I don't want to go back to work. When I used to get this vacation, I was pumped up and ready to hit the office and tackle all the stuff that went on while I was gone, this time my heart is just not in it. Which leads me to my New Year's resolution... work on my business and possibly expand it so this time next year I can work just for me.

It is a lofty goal and one I've had for many moons now but in the wake of unknown funding, a crappy commute and the fact that my job has lost its luster I am feeling the pull of striking while the iron is hot and I am motivated to do something about this situation.

Stay tuned :) and Happy New Year!!!

Friends say a lot about us...

"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves," writer Edna Buchanan once said. I consider the "family" I've gathered—with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things—among the wisest choices I've made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.

1. The Uplifter
This woman's favorite word: yes. You could tell her you're trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she'd barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don't you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?

2. The Travel Buddy
When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it's enough that she's comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).

3. The Truth Teller
Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you've established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you'd be smart to seek out this woman's perspective.

4. The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun
One Saturday a pal and I—and yes, we're both over age 12—pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.

5. The Unlikely Friend
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends—some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian—have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.

In order to truly communicate, we must take responsibility for the heart space that exists between us and another. It is that heart space, or the absence of it, which will determine whether communication is miraculous or fearful.

—Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Commitment

Commitment in a relationship means commitment to the process of mutual understanding and forgiveness--no matter how many conversations it takes, nor how uncomfortable those conversations might sometimes be.

—Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

The above excerpt was emailed to me earlier this week and has really been something I've been thinking on lately. A good lesson for life.